Camp Campbell forever
by Campcampfan
Summary: A new camper comes to camp Campbell AND HE JUST LOVES IT
1. Max's (normally) bad day

It was another awesome/awful day at camp Campbell (the latter if your the majority) and max was trying to get some shut eye when the bull horn woke him up "dammit" he swore as the sudden noise of the brass instrument made him fall out of the rickety bed his cabin provided him with. Later in the mess hall quartermaster was serving up his infamous food-like substances to the kiddies, max ordered the mash potatoes and the quartermaster gave him a spoon to eat with, however upon sticking his spoon into it the somehow sentient side dish ate it whole. "FUCK" he quietly shouted under his breath. During regular camp activities David was sitting and reading "the encyclopedia of nature". Max and the other kids were running around a track to get their legally required 15 minutes of exercise when David called upon him. Max you know that you must be wearing your honorary safety uniform during exercise period" David explained "do know just don't care"max retorted "well we need to get you fitted up" David exclaimed dragging a reluctant max by the knees to the supply room to get the the correct clothes onto him. Soon max was wearing a life jacket,parachute,military helmet,safety goggles,a bulletproof vest, and pads on every appendage max tried to continue walking but fell on his face mid way through his first step "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK" max shouted quite loudly but was muffled by the concrete. Max decided it would be better to sit down by a tree to avoid David and too let old age take its toll but somehow David found him "max you should be" he began to say till max grabbed him by his yellow ascot the two nose to nose by now "NO HELL NO I HAVE HAD ENOUGH WITH YOUR STUPID SONGS CHEESY ACTIVITIES AND JUST ABOUT ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS HELLISH LABYRINTH YOU CALL A FUCKING CAMP,I MEAN WAKE UP AND SMELL THE FUCKING ROSES DAVID NO ONE IN THEIR RIGHT GODDAMN MIND WOULD EVER SAY THAT-" just then the bus rammed David out of the way (and just sorta glazed Max's nose a little bit) the doors opened to reveal a tall brown haired camper "I love camp"he exclaimed with glee


	2. The (un)welcoming comitee

Everything was set, David was determined to welcome the new camper the averagely cheery camp campbell way,balloons were set all the campers were in place and Gwen finally got over her fear of meeting new people "okay everyone get ready to put on your best camp campbell smile max that means you" you shoved us all into a cabin and locked us all in oh yeah life is fucking peachy" max commented. Just then the shadow of the new camper appeared outside the door and david went to unlock it (stepping on loose nails on the way) and let the newbie in. WELCOME yelled the whole camp minus max who was just in the corner. Gwen looked up from her book entitled "sex and mystery (and sexy mysteries) to see the new camper in the doorway he was almost taller than her but not quite (about up to her elbow) and hair flowing in the wind just then she began to stutter "hello welcome to camp campbell hello welcome to camp campbell hello welcome to camp campbell" David placed a container of pills next to her and said to the new camper "so um what's your name" I'm peter j finkelshtein but you can call me peter finkle" he explained. a little German kid came up to him " velcome to camp I am dolf zis is my welcome gift" he handed Dinkle a piece of paper that showed art of Mary and Jesus" " its an early Christmas present" he chimed "y know you remind me of a young Gilbert Godfrey" dinkle said. Hearing this max hit his head on the wall "goddamnit he's like the others" he thought just then a blue haired girl galloped on all fours towards dinkle spitting a mouse out of her mouth " "aw thank you" dinkle said petting the girl who responded with happy panting " Nikki go away" sneered max as Nikki wimperd away and curled up on the cabin bed "and where's your gift max"said David "oh, my gift? My gift shall be the gift of pure fact" max said and after a millisecond grabbed dinkle by the collar of his shirt similar as he did too David " listen buddy you think you have been hauled out for a fun day of activity but the truth is you just stumbled into a nightmare of no escape, those camp counselors, they're the two headed beast that guard the exit of this hell and most of the campers are their demon slaves, happiness is not an option here and sadness is what they feed on, you are just a meal to them and this camp is just a ploy" dinkle was not listening as he was focused on a phone from a girl named ered which was in her own words "totes cool and stuff" and told him that she also has one spair (out of the eleven she has at home) because her parents were rich enough to buy her multiple "oh this camp is gonna be great" dinkle said " oh you may think that now but you'll see YOU ALL WILL" yelled max as he went on the top bunk opposite of Nikki to sleep this stupid welcome party off like a gnarly hangover "what" said dinkle as he wasn't listening too a word max had to say but he still stood by one thing this will most likley be THE GREATEST CAMP EVER!


End file.
